I'm lost and gazing at the stars
by kristenfi13
Summary: Swan Queen boat fic. Set after the season 2 finale. Emma and Regina do everything in their power to save Henry and themselves.


**AN: **So, this is another boat fic! I've read some amazing ones and I don't expect this to live up to them at all, but they're kind of my obsession at the moment, so I had to try writing one myself. I imagine it mind end up being in three or four parts? I'm not sure, but I'll keep you updated as I go along. Happy reading and let me know if you have any suggestions for subsequent chapters! I'd love to have part of this take place in Neverland, maybe. I'll see if I can get here.

The first hour on the boat goes smoothly. Hook is happy to demonstrate what needs to be done to keep the ship on course. He even displays what might be read as patience in the face of some of the less physically adept members of their crew. He doesn't try to kill Rumple and Regina doesn't so much as glare at Snow. The distraction of adapting to this new environment is enough to keep them all perfectly civil. And then things start to get complicated.

Emma hadn't even thought about what the sleeping arrangements might be, but before they even head below deck to have something for dinner, Hook is suggesting that she might want to share the double bed that he has in his cabin, because there are only two sets of bunk beds to be shared by the rest of the people on the ship. This brings everyone to a standstill.

"Uh…well, is that my only option?" Emma tries to somehow find a tone that neither offends Hook nor leads him on. There's no way that having him think she wants him…that way…could help matters. Hook doesn't get a chance to answer her, though.

"She'll share a bunk with me if she has to," Snow chimes in. "My daughter – our daughter," she adds, sharing a look with David, "is not going anywhere near your bed. Is that clear?" Emma wishes she could throw herself overboard into the ocean to escape this. She would do just that, if she weren't on a mission to save her son. Seriously, there was nothing that could make this situation more embarrassing. Or, at least, that's what Emma thought until she glanced over at Regina and saw an expression on the brunette's face that was almost…jealous? No. Emma must be going crazy from the ridiculous amount of stress that has suddenly been heaped on her. It's anger. Anger at being stuck on a ship with a bunch of 'idiots'. Emma sighs and forces herself to pay attention to the conversation still going on in front of her. After all, these decisions are going to affect her for the foreseeable future. Who knows how long it will take them to reach Neverland?

* * *

Dinner is awkward, to say the least. After Snow was done giving Hook a piece of her mind, she politely declined Regina's offer to cook for everyone, making the tension that surrounded them in the cramped galley even more suffocating. Now, sitting at a table with glares being thrown over her shoulder and across her head, it's all Emma can do not to burst out laughing or collapse in a heap of tears. Nothing about this plan is going right. If there was even a solid plan to start with. Emma's beginning to doubt that now.

Of course, Regina is the one to break the silence. "What a delicious meal," she says in her most biting voice, not sparing Snow a glance.

"You're welcome to cook your own food, if you wish," Snow replies, always the diplomat. But she can't keep the superior note out of her tone – the knowledge that, no matter what their argument is about, Snow will always be able to keep her cool when Regina cannot.

"I think I've had my fill here," Regina mutters as she stands up, fighting to move across the cramped space and dropping her dish in the sink with a flourish. Before she can make her way out of the galley, Hook turns to face Emma with a less than charming grin plastered across his face and his words make the brunette pause just before she reaches the doorway.

"Don't forget, you're welcome to change your mind if it gets too crowded in your room."

"I'm sure I'll survive," Emma deadpans, watching Regina recover herself and head down the corridor towards the room they'll all have to share tonight. For many nights, Emma guesses. She just hopes they find a way to coexist before someone gets hurt.

* * *

Emma has her jeans halfway down her legs before she hears Regina clear her throat. She isn't really bothered about changing with Regina lying in her bunk right next to her, but clearly, Regina is. "Sorry," Emma mumbles, before quickly pulling on the pyjama pants she had the clarity of mind to bring with her on this nightmare of a journey. Snow is brushing her teeth at the sink in the corner of their tiny cabin and Emma forces herself not to glance in her direction as she climbs up to the bunk above Regina. David and Rumple are being gentlemen and changing in what passes for a bathroom on the ship, so the three women are by themselves in a room full of past slights and held grudges that could be sliced right through with a knife. The only noise is the sound of Snow swishing water around her mouth and unceremoniously spitting it into the sink. Emma would laugh if she didn't think Regina would climb right up to the top bunk and throw her onto the floor for making light of the situation.

When Snow finally turns away from the sink, Emma scoots closer to the wall, making room for her mother. But Snow's eyes widen in what seems like embarrassment and then turns quickly to guilt. "Oh, Emma, I think I'm going to sleep with Charm – your father. We want you to sleep soundly, you know? You're not used to having someone toss and turn next to you at night."

Emma gives her the strongest smile she can muster. "Yeah, sure. Thanks. For giving me my own bed."

"You're welcome, honey." It's still surreal to hear this woman use terms of endearment with her, but Emma keeps telling herself that she'll get used to it, eventually. Snow climbs into the top bunk across from Emma just as David enters the room and they both get settled quickly, David wrapping his arms around Snow in an embrace that must quell some of the unfamiliarity that is troubling Emma so much. Rumple walks in a few minutes later and turns off the small lamp that hangs on the wall by the door. There's the knock of his cane on the floor as he makes his way over to his bed, and then silence. Emma tries not to be too bothered by the fact that her parents didn't even say goodnight to her. They're not used to it. It takes time to grow accustomed to anything new. So, Emma tries to ignore the sinking feeling of dread that consumes her as she feels the boat rocking in the darkness, taking her to places she cannot even begin to imagine.

* * *

Emma wakes to someone shaking her arm. It takes her a moment to come to her senses and realise that Regina's face is inches from her own, a sharp look in her eyes as she whispers, "For God's sake, Miss Swan, are you dead?"

"Not quite," Emma grumbles back as quietly as she can. "What are you doing, Regina? Shouldn't you be getting your beauty sleep?"

Regina ignores the jibe and steps back from the blonde, finally letting go of her arm. "I think we should talk."

"Now?"

"No, Miss Swan. Next week. I just wanted to let you know in plenty of time."

Sighing heavily, Emma lifts herself into a sitting position and stares grumpily at the brunette who always and repeatedly escapes her understanding. "Fine," she finally whispers, swinging her legs onto the ladder and clambering down a little unsteadily. Pulling on her jacket, she heads for the door and holds it open for Regina. When the brunette makes no move to follow her, Emma raises her eyebrows impatiently until she gets the hint and treads quietly out to the stairs that lead up to the deck. Emma follows her, taking a deep breath to prepare for the frustration she knows is on its way.

When Emma reaches the deck, Regina is already leaning against the side of the ship, waiting for Emma to join her. As usual, she assumes that everyone will bend to accommodate her. Emma walks over to the brunette anyway, letting her egotism go just this once.

"I don't know how easy it will be for us to get to Neverland," Regina begins. At Emma's perplexed gaze, she continues, "Because we're not children. I don't even know if we'll be able to find it. There is…very strong magic at work. And its only purpose is to keep us away."

"From Henry," Emma interjects. There's an emptiness to her voice that makes Regina want to give up then and there. If the Saviour doesn't have any hope left, then how is anyone else supposed to hold on to it?

"From all the children there."

"But we're trying to save Henry."

"I know you're worried about him, Miss Swan. I am, too. But there are other children there as well. And they all have parents, too. At least, they must have had them at one point. Sometimes you have to put your biases aside and do what you know is right. So…if we can save more children than just Henry, we will." Glancing hesitantly at the blonde, Regina turns to gaze at the water stretching out endlessly around them before she goes on. "Surely you must remember what it's like to be a lost one."

"Yeah. I do." Emma goes to stand next to Regina at the edge of the ship and places her hands on the railing. For a moment, she thinks she sees two stars that are burning slightly brighter than the others, but she blinks and when she tries to locate them again, she finds that they've disappeared.

"Are you scared?" she hears Regina whisper a moment later, much softer than everything that came before those words.

"Yes," Emma breathes. "I mean, I never could have imagined any of this happening to me. I have parents now. And a kid who's been taken from me, just when I was starting to believe I might actually be able to be a parent to him. And there's magic. And now I'm stuck on a boat with a bunch of people who all want to kill each other. I always have a plan – I always used to have one, because I had to in my line of work, but now…I don't even know how to begin to deal with any of this. And I hate the ocean. I really do."

There's a pause before Regina speaks up again. "I meant are you scared about Henry. But that's all good to know, dear." Emma imagines she can see Regina smirking out of the corner of her eye as a blush slowly creeps up her neck.

"Well, um…yeah. I am." A silence falls between them before Emma adds, "I really am. I just…I hope he's okay."

"Me, too, Miss Swan." They both continue to stare out at the ocean, but the quiet weighs heavily on them and Regina can't help but fidget. Emma's surprised that she's the still one in this scenario. It's almost peaceful, sharing this moment together, until Regina's hand brushes against Emma's and she pulls it away as if the blonde's hand was made of fire. Emma turns to look at her, but Regina is resolutely avoiding her gaze. "I should get some sleep if I'm going to be of any use tomorrow. Good night." Emma watches the brunette move swiftly to the trap door that leads below deck and disappear out of sight. She stays outside for a while longer, wanting to avoid any awkward exchange in their shared cabin as much as she wants to keep looking at the stars. She lies down gingerly on the wooden deck, facing the sky that seems to have no end. But there are things up there, she tells herself. Far away suns and cloud and birds and maybe even people flying, for all she knows. She holds on to that thought with weary tenacity as she falls asleep.


End file.
